"Drew passed away."
My brain didn't connect the dots right away. Disbelief filled my mind. It couldn't be possible. No.
She had little details. News was starting to trickle amongst our friends. I called my ex and he shot it down, so I thought he was being an asshole and I texted him calling him out, but he said he was on the other line and we briefly texted. Drew was close to us as a couple. I really felt that he was a brother to me. I lost touch with him as I have steered clear of my hangouts with the ex. I have no business there anymore and for the most part, consider myself sober. The occasional drink, but nothing like before. I guess when 'mom and dad' break up, someone inevitably gets custody of the kids.
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| Drew (left) and his best friend Nuggets (right) |
My last text with him was in March of this year. He had posted to Facebook about depression and it bothered me and I said I'd like to grab coffee with him. We never met up. The other day, yesterday? my intuition told me to text him .... check in with him. Odd, because I don't talk to that group of friends much. It was morning and I was on my way out the door to work. I told myself I'd text later. I kept thinking about it, but was "busy" with work or general life routine. I am sad I didn't check in with him. Mad of another instance I didn't listen to my intuition. Would it have changed anything? Maybe not. Maybe so. I will not beat myself up over that answer, because either way, my beloved 'brother' chose this exit point in his life.
I am deeply saddened by the life that should've been lived. Saddened by how much joy he brought to so many people's lives. Saddened he didn't know that joy for himself.
Drew, I love you. I am sorry there was a blip of not being there and it ended like this. I am saddened you chose this exit point. I know all of us feel robbed from experiencing more years of you, your stories, your kindness, your heart.
Love,
Your sister.
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